The course of recovery

September 20, 2015.

The attempt by Bunty(Sujoy Banerjee) to raise a second boutique in Rajouri Garden main market has failed, and he is under financial constraint. In that order, my funds are depleted, and I am under borderline financial constraint, as I have a personal loan and an auto loan to pay off, and it doesn't leave me with the same options as I used to have before. But I am okay, or so I think. 

I need to make sure I save enough to be able to pay for 2nd semester of my Fashion Design course, but I don't think I am in a pinching situation. I think I will manage.

Today being a Sunday, I think of visiting Bunty to talk and discuss the situation, and try to see if we will have a solution to this situation.

When I reached his home, I find it locked. I try to reach him on my phone.

"Where are you? I came here and found your room locked." I say when he picks up the call.

"I am going to Vrindavan" He says. 

"Without telling anyone before? All of a sudden? What the hell?" I ask him on a high pitch, confused and angry at having had my time wasted.

"Haan yaar, it all just happened suddenly. Had to leave urgently." Bunty replies.

"When will you be back?"

"Not sure at the moment." Saying this he hangs up.

Later in the evening, I get a message from him on WhatsApp:

"Go to the shop and pick up your stuff from there tomorrow."

I ask "Why? Are you going to close the shop? Weren't you planning to do it at the end of month?"

"No idea what will happen next at the moment"

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And that was the last I heard from the man who stood by me when I was brought down to zero. 

He took money from many creditors in the area, and when the debt became too much to bear, he chose to run away. He couldn't have faced the consequences of the model he was operating on, in any case, and would have been indebted for a long time, even with robust finances, which he didn't know how to manage any given day.

The man lent himself to every vice that wise men have advised to refrain from, namely, gambling women, and meat. I ignored it, believing it will not fall on my karma. I was wrong.

Now I am suffering the results of my mistake. I have lost the enterprise because of the lack of proper vigilance, and strict governance in business. I trusted Bunty to make good decisions, as I believed he can carry the burden of ownership. He could neither bear the yoke, nor crack the whip.

I am now alone in this battle, devoid of friends or family to support me in a cause they were already against. But am I going to fall in this battle? Is it going to be my last? Not even likely. I am capably fighting insolvency, and recovering from it, in monthly installments. I put all my income into repaying all that I owe, as quickly as I can.

Today is the 28th of February. I have 3 more installments to pay before I am capable of reorganising business again. Come May 2016, I will start the first phase of the mission to raise my kingdom anew.

Till then, I test and redesign the complete structure for my new business.

What many American presidents have said, time and time again, is an immortal statement that captures my spirit the best.

"I will not stop, I will not rest, I will not fail."

I am an entrepreneur, and we are a very selective breed.

I am Xenon.

Letter to the recruiter

Hi Jasleen,

I am writing to you for a feedback, as the round of interviews that were to be conducted for the position pitched to me have been completed. Do let me know if I have been selected or not.

I went for the interaction as I am looking for an opportunity fitting my search criteria. For the right pay and the right position, I do what I need to do, and commitment is my greatest principle. I believe the opportunity presented to me was worth a shot, and gave it a genuinely honest try. I started off as my own master, but am now am stuck in a system where upgrades don't look lucrative to me. When the job was pitched to me it felt like what I was looking for.

 

The rounds with you and Sachin went fine, but I think your director doesn't approve of me. What eats me out of the whole conversation is the last part, when he said that I have changed too many companies, and he couldn't understand my career vision. If he actually approved of me, I would be happy to work with EduPristine, and most probably can commit for at least 3 years, after understanding the position as he talked about it, and having looked at the JD in your mail. However, I don't feel too hopeful about it at the moment.

That said and done, I would answer the critical question which he wanted an answer for.

What is my career vision or aspiration? I want to be a great filmmaker and entrepreneur in the long run. Till such time as I don't go full-time on my business, I am looking to work with a company which puts me in a position that allows me to use my talents to the fullest, and at the same time guarantees my financial robustness

As I told him as well, I am working to raise a company of my own in my personal time. I have been working on this since 2009, but have understood all basic parameters fairly recently, and am learning and inventing more everyday.

I almost reached launch stage for my women's clothing range around September 2015, but my partner sabotaged me, and I am back to R&D and restructuring, while paying off debts resulting from his financial fraud.

 All of this while doing studies and work, and plan to keep doing so for as long as it takes. Currently the target is set for being fully established and profitable with all production in-house by 2020. Not much, just a 4-floor building in an industrial area with 20-40 staff, on a 80-100 yard plot. I know it is doable if I get the right opportunities and manage them well. 

This was one of those opportunities, and not getting it means the road stays inhospitable as Stalingrad was to the Nazis in '41, as I barely get much sleep after 18 hours of work everyday, 6 days a week, and cannot afford any real social interaction. You cannot imagine what taking this much pressure does psychologically to a man with no real friends and no immediate family. 

I don't know anyone except my immediate superior and teammates at my current job, as I don't waste a single moment in idle chit-chat. I used to command a certain respect from everyone on the production floor, but that seems to have dwindled over time, as I am the last of my recruitment batch

Xenon Enterprises

For being safe in interviews I don't expose this, as it may make the recruiter feel unsafe, and I try to be a simpler candidate when I want the job. To me it seems that opportunity has been lost by me with the last question from him.

I am a self-driven person, and believe in fighting my battles till the end. I was born military; everyday I give to another organisation will be as a special soldier, one the opponent must always fear; and every day I command my own operations will be as a responsible general, one that protects his men well. 

If either the jeopardy of my initial career or my personal ambition upset those screening me for a position I desire, it will definitely be sad, but on my end,I will very much make up for it, however I can. I will halt, I will not rest, and I will not fail.