Baby Steps towards Marriage

I want to right a detailed piece especially on this beautiful experience, that has, fairly recently, changed my life completely, and for the better.

Step 1: lone ranger: young, single, getting frustrated with life

I lost my first family back in 2001, in the Bhuj earthquake. Since then, I grew up in a boys hostel during my school days, and then lived by myself on rent till may 2013. As permanent accommodation was arranged for me by my guardian, I moved to my current 2- bedroom arrangement.

In these 15-odd years, I kept looking for one person to share myself with, but failed miserably. The mismatch between my requirement and what was offered was always too vast. 

By 2013 , I was starting to lose patience, and decided to build a marriage profile on major matrimonial sites.

It was more of a study to understand the mass psyche of the people that visited the sites in general, and I just wanted to understand what was expected of me.

The study gave me useful information, based on which I made plenty of changes to my way of life.

However, despite working as best as I could, it was becoming a futile attempt when it came to actually finding someone I would like, as the candidates I liked had different expectations.

By may 2016, it was almost time to shut it all down.

I was out of my sales job already, and life seemed to be at the tipping point between order and insanity.

Part 2: A new chapter in life.

At this point, I wanted to refresh myself from the drudgery I had been through. I started to give interviews, but something was missing, so I left town to see an old friend for a few days, and when I came back, I was ready to get rid of my matrimonial profiles and look for another job.

I had a certain idea at this point that I would get married by 30 or so, at the point when I would have completely resolved my liabilities.

Or maybe, I will leave everything behind, raise a little food stall somewhere, and not worry about the world anymore. Or perhaps learn more survival skills and go live in the jungle.

I was sure that I am done telling myself that I could find someone who understands me very well, and loves me, asking only for love in return. These are fairy tales that don't happen in real world, and I was too deeply hurt by everyone I had love to the point of making real sacrifices for them.

On the very last day that I was about to delete my Shaadi.com profile, I got acceptance from the one profile that I had reserved amongst 3 final candidates.

All of a sudden, there was hope. It could work, life may have a meaning,after all.

I was pondering on how to get in touch and interact with the family, when I received a call from my future father-in-law, inviting me to see him when I had the time.

Things started to make progress from there. After I met him, I brought the matter to my family, so that we can follow tradition as required in these matters.

I didn't know yet if they will go for this girl or not, but had made the resolve to push hard for her. I made the strongest possible case I could for her in front of my guardians - my elder uncle and my grandfather. I still have no idea what went on between them, but they reluctantly accepted the proposal. In July they invited my future father-in-law to my uncle's house in Faridabad for a first face to face.